Trine Blogs: The very last one
You didn’t think I’d leave without saying goodbye, did you?
For me, the academic year has come to its close. It’s only a month ago that I delivered my thesis, but it feels like it has been aeons since. My world has up-ended itself and changed completely; I now have a job, I have moved into a new apartment and away from Tilburg, and I am on the cusp of a new chapter of my life. Honestly, it feels weird. It’s like actually being an adult now, living with your boyfriend like a real couple and going to work like a real grown-up. I see the children running around, enjoying the sun and the summer, and wish I could wear a Batman costume to work every day. Ah, my misspent days of youth…
The topic of misspent days have been on my mind a lot lately. I think that when you are mentally searching for something more fulfilling and not really living in the “now” that you are occupying, the way of life (or the persona, if you will) that you leave behind appears to be something you shed a long time ago. Something that hasn’t existed for a very long time. I feel that way. But it feels rushed. I have been desperate to wrap up my student life as fast as possible so that I could “move on”. Which is strange, as I was very excited to start my Master’s almost a year ago. I was excited to do another thesis (hah! silly girl) and I was excited to re-apply my student persona in a new setting. Except it didn’t turn out that way – obviously you cannot expect to be the same person you were when you replace your surroundings entirely. But I did expect that, and that became the source of a year’s struggle, confusion, and, to some degree, disappointment.
So what did I learn this year? There’s always one or two life-lessons when you look back on something. For me, they have been that high expectations, and especially expectations of things being the same (or similar) even though you change everything around you, do not come to a fruitful end. Also, if you are mentally already searching for the next big thing, you miss out on the “now”. I think that one, in particular, is important to remember.
And with that, I will go enjoy my “now” before it gets filled up with busy work hours and arguments about whose turn it is to do the dishes (not mine). I am heading off on one last vacation to Scotland, and I plan to enjoy it to the maximum. Even if it’s rainy and full of wet highland cows.
I want to thank the approximately three people who read my column on a regular basis (hi mum and dad!), and to everyone who has dropped by now and then. It’s been a great pleasure to blog for Univers, even if it’s been rather erratic at the end. I appreciate the opportunity, and it’s encouraged me to take up another venture somewhere else. If anything, I’ve learned that writing is, and should be, a big(ger) part of my life. It’s a lesson I’m happy to learn.
Trine Larsen (23) from Denmark studies Management of Cultural Diversity at Tilburg University and blogs for Univers.
