Creative ways to combat bike theft

Sometimes help comes from a place you least expect. In summer, Univers wrote that bike theft is on the rise. In a reaction to that, an American blogger under the mysterious name ‘John’ (no surname) sent us a blog he wrote about bike theft in Philadelphia, his home town. He wrote: “I work for a cycling company in Philly – the bike theft capital of the U.S. I’m so sick of my bike being “liberated” that I wrote a ridiculous article about bike prevention methods that will definitely work.” So. Here goes.Every day we see more and more articles about bike thefts happening across the country. People are having a harder time than ever keeping their bikes, scooters, or other modes of transportation safe. What can be done? If bike theft continues to be a problem, people will soon give up their easy way of commuting and trade it in for more costly measures. Having to constantly worry about your bike and whether it will still be where you locked it up can become frustrating, adding unnecessary stress. We here at Xootr have come up with some “creative” ways to prevent bike theft. You might find some of these suggestions as a little extreme, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

John’s Guide to Foolproof Bike Theft Prevention

1. Hire a body guard to stand next to your bike
Chained up bikes seem like easy pickings for bike thieves. While you are in a store buying cat food for that ungrateful roommate of yours, some jerk can walk right up and take your bike, leaving you without transportation and your hungry cat even hungrier. However if you were to employ a giant body guard to stand next your bike, you could shop for cat litter with peace of mind. Your new friend Tiny is standing guard outside and anyone who tries to mess with your bike messes with Tiny. Now this can get costly, and you will probably have to provide Tiny with benefits and vacation time, but at least you know you will be holding on to your bike for a while.

2. Robot scanners
Technology has come a long way, and that includes tech for security. If having a large angry man guarding your bike doesn’t sound appealing, you could install security scanners/robots on your bike. Whenever someone other than you touches your bike, a loud and flashy alarm will go off, alerting those around the person fiddling with the bike is not the owner. This will surely scare any unwanted individual off, keeping your bike safe for another day. It can even work on pesky family members. Sorry grandma, no bike ride to the market on MY BICYCLE for you. Better luck next time.

3. Camouflage
Many animals in nature have the ability to cloak themselves from danger. A predator sees a future meal, gets ready to attack, then…..wait. Where did it go? Evolution has provided these critters with a great way to prevent being taken, so why can’t we do the same for our bikes? If riders carry paint cans with them at all times, they can paint their bike the same color of the building it is in front of. Bike thieves would be trolling along looking for their next target, and never see your bike because of the expert camouflage you applied to it. Bike theft cannot beat evolution.

Sorry grandma, no bike ride to the market on MY BICYCLE for you. Better luck next time

4. Mean guard dog
This just makes sense. Every time you have to lock up you bike, you can also attach a mean dog to it. That dog will keep any and all people away from its personal space, which now includes your bike. Make sure you bring treats everywhere you go, because the only downside to this option is that you may have a hard time getting the bike back from the dog. This is definitely the riskiest option for your health, but dogs are cute so it basically evens out.

5. Buy a folding bike
Probably the easiest way to prevent bike theft would be to not lock up your bike outside. But maybe you don’t have room in your office for your large bike. That’s why there are folding bikes. Instead of leaving your bike outside in a cold world of thievery, you can fold your bike to a much smaller contraption, enabling you to store it under your desk or in your locker. Imagine being at work and not worrying once if your bike will still be where you left it at the end of the day.

John writes for the blog Xootr.

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