The 5:30 AM student

Do you know that feeling of desperation when you realize that all the material from a certain subject has evaporated from your brain the moment you leave the exam room? Because I do, all too well. At times, it has made me wonder what the point to it all is. Recently, I have discovered it: money. I have found a way to monetize my studying efforts, namely through selling my summaries to students who are too lazy to read the material themselves. No worries, there’s no judgement.

Of course, I used to be annoyed when people asked for help on subjects that they put zero effort into themselves, but it turns out that such principles disappear shockingly quickly when there is some monetary compensation. And let’s be honest, we’ve all had one or two subjects that made you cry just thinking about it.

However, what my lovely buyers don’t know is that I receive a notification every time they purchase some of my intellectual property. As a result, I received a notification this morning at 5:30, telling me I sold another summary. Now I can’t help but wonder who this poor student is. I imagine them sitting at their desk, their hands shaking from the twenty-fifth espresso that they just finished, their eyes red and swollen, the pages of the book in front of them, covered in tears. What gave the final push? What made them cave and buy my summary?

Perhaps they weren’t even studying to begin with. Perhaps they came home, fully inebriated, and realized they’d forgotten about that shitty exam the following day.
Wherever you are, 5:30 AM buyer, please know that I’m here for you. In times of need, in times of complete desperation, I’ve got your back. I will be there, for the small price of six euros fifty.

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